Life can be very difficult, right? This place is cursed, Satan is the prince of this world, and we live side-by-side with sinners. Those things alone can make life difficult. But there is one thing that makes life MUCH more difficult… HOLDING GRUDGES. Think of life this way… you’re climbing a mountain… it’s steep. You want to reach the top because at the top is where freedom is. But along the way, people hurt you. You get offended. So, every time someone hurts you, you pick up a rock and put it in your backpack. Every offense, another rock goes in. Eventually, that backpack is full of heavy rocks. Hence, the climb gets more difficult. Every step is hard. Every breath is labored. And the top of the mountain gets blurred until you can’t see it anymore.
Holding grudges is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness. Sometimes it’s just easier to hold grudges than to forgive, right? Remember that God wants us to live in freedom, joy, and peace. This is what He came to give us. Unforgiveness keeps us from that life. But Paul reminds us in Colossians that Jesus forgave us, so we SHOULD forgive others. Forgiveness is not for the perpetrator… it’s for us. Forgiveness opens those prison doors.
A better response to offenses is to throw the rock down rather than put it in our backpack. Let it go. Matthew West sings about this in his song Forgiveness:
It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind
It always goes to those that don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how I feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word
Forgiveness
It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying “Set it free.”
The question then becomes… How do I know I have truly forgiven someone who has hurt me? Here are two things… 1) even though the offense is never out of your mind, it doesn’t sting any more. And 2) when you are able to reach out to the person… make conversation, send them a card, and pray genuinely for them. You know you have forgiven when, at the mention of their name, terrible thoughts no longer rise to the surface.
A man had caused a great stir and lots of trouble in the church at Corinth. It seems he hurt the whole church (2 Corinthians 2:5). Paul addressed this in his letter when he said, “Now it is time to forgive him” (2 Corinthians 2:7). There’s not a better time than right now to let go of those grudges and forgive. By doing this, the climb will be so much easier.