Let’s be honest! Forgiveness can be VERY difficult. I’ve been stuck in Matthew lately pondering Jesus’ famous words from His Sermon on the Mount. In one of our previous devotionals, we discussed Jesus’ words that we are to love those who are difficult to love. Today, I wanted to discuss the whole concept of forgiveness. Jesus said, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 5:14-15). Obviously, we need to really understand these words and we will in another post, but for today, I just want to bring before you FORGIVENESS.
I believe that we get a wrong concept of forgiveness. We somehow think that it means that we forget what’s been done to us… the wrongs inflicted on us that stung like an angry wasp. Think about it… would a parent forget if a child has been abducted? Would someone forget if a robber broke in and stole their valuables? Would a person forget if their health has declined because a drunk driver hit them? Would an adult forget the abuse they endured as a child? NO! In fact, most of the time, not a day will go by that they don’t remember the hurt someone caused them or their family.
So, then what does it mean to forgive? Here are three things…
Forgiveness means that I may have to make the first move toward reconciliation! I know someone who had a strained relationship with her mom for years. Her mom did things and said things over the years that hurt her. One day her husband asked her, “Do you want a mom?” She said YES. He then said, “Well then, you need to make the first move because she is not going to do it.” She listened and did make the first move. Sometimes we have to be the bigger person. Is it easy? NO. Is it fair? NO. But if we want reconciliation, sometimes this is what we have to do.
Forgiveness means that I let it go rather than hold a grudge! This one is HUGE. Holding a grudge means that I harbor persistent feelings of anger, resentment, or bitterness toward someone long after they have committed a wrong, insult, or betrayal against me. Holding a grudge is like a cancer that grows. It will take over everything good. And… it will rob you of the joy and peace that God has offered you. It will also cause health issues because it adds extra stress to your life. Nothing good comes from holding a grudge.
One way that we can let go of a grudge is to reframe it. What I mean by this is that we can look at through the lens of the cross. I have done a lot of things but God has forgiven me. He has forgiven me when I’ve rebelled, acted in selfishness, or let sin reign. He forgave me for it all. And since He forgave me, I should forgive others.
Forgiveness means that I refuse to act on my hurt! I refuse to retaliate or hurt with words or actions because I’ve been hurt.
Here’s the thing… does the perpetrator deserve my forgiveness? Probably not! Do I have the right to be angry? YES! Just remember, though, that forgiveness is not for the one who has hurt… it’s for YOU. For freedom, for joy, for peace. For you to be able to move on and not be stuck in a dark place. Does forgiveness mean that I need to bring this person in like before or become best buddies with them again. NO. It just means that I will not let what they did to me take me down. Forgiveness means that I say YES to Jesus’ mandates and I’m willing to be different than others because Jesus is my King and Lord. Because Jesus sits on the throne of my heart… not me. I hope this is a word we all need today.